Obviously it's pretty cheap to get Funky here in Italy. Ima be getting Funky everyday out here yall!

MY LIFE IS GREAT

I'm engaged to the most beautiful girl in the world. All your life you dream of meeting that special someone to complete you, and yes everybody, I have. I didn't actually just meet her but that's our business. We are perfect for each other, plain and simple. All I'm saying is that I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have her in my life now forever. So if you see me walking down the street or driving around with huuuuge smile on my face, you'll now know why.

I DO WORK!!!

100 Guinness you bitches!! This is what I do. You thought it was a game? This is business, this is vacation, this is me.

THIS JOINT BLEW MY MIND!!!

Dead Prez, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, EPMD, Slick Rick, De La Soul, Jay-Z, Method Man, Redman, Ghostface, Raekwon, Cappadonna, Biz Markie, Pharoahe Monch, Q-Tip (terrible without Phife) Pharcyde, and NAS. Shit was unbelievable. Perfect way to end my summer. Oh wait, that Guinness 100 was the perfect way to end it.

HERE WE GO AGAIN

Yup, that's right. That Man Salvi will be returning to Scafati for another season. Something about the way it ended last year just didn't sit well with me. I was with this team when we went up and I was with them when we went down. Like I said many times before, I am not one to run away, I'm ready to fight till the end with this team. Fight for what you ask? The championship and getting Scafati back to A1 is the goal.

Believe me, this team will be full of guys that will do whatever it takes to win. For the fans of Scafati, be patient, you were with us during the good and the bad. Now get ready for some more good.

See you soon!


-----------------------------


E’giusto. That Man Salvi tornera’ a Scafati per un’altra stagione. Il modo in cui sono finite certe cose non mi andavano bene. Ero con questa squadra quando siamo saliti ed ero con loro quando siamoscesi. Come ho gia’detto molte volte prima, non sono uno che scappa via. Sono pronto a lottare fino alla fine con questa squadra. Lottare per cosa vi starete chiedendo? Il campionato e riportare Scafati in serie A1 e’ l’obiettivo .

Credetemi. Questa squadra sara’piena di ragazzi che faranno tutto il possibile per vincere. Per i Fan di Scafati, siate pazienti, eravate con noi durante i brutti e i bei momenti Adesso preparatevi per qualche bel momento in piu’.

Ci si vede presto!!!

WHERE IS MR. MIYAGI WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

I'm a hard working dude, I spend 9 months of every year getting banged up (N.H.). Basketball is a tough sport so I figure it's only right to treat myself to a nice massage when need be. Well I just recently went to L.A. to kick it with my man Coop, a.k.a. The Gray Kid. The trip was ill, we did big things, held it down, pretty much made it happen. Well one day I was telling him how banged up I am and how my body has just been killing me. He suggested that we get some Thai massages. If you don't know what a Thai massage is well it's basically a little Asian lady standing on your back and just walking it out. I think to myself, anything would work. So next thing you know we're in there. Everything is lovely, shorty is working out my back and I'm feeling good. Well at the end of my hour massage this lady put 2 hot towels on each of my shoulders and one on the back of my neck. She then proceeds to give me the good karate chop joints on my back then she does something that I was so not ready for. THIS BITCH PUNCHES ME IN THE BACK OF MY NECK YO!!! I swear she punched me. It was hard as shit and did not feel good at all. What did I do or say to piss her off? Nothing. There is no reason that she should have done that. I mean I am seriously in big time pain right now and about to get to the point where I don't wanna pay her. That shit hurt for real. A chop to the neck is kinda hard to recover from, especially when you're not at all ready for it. This bitch had no idea that she just fucked me up. And what did she have to say for herself after I was like, "damn yo, what the fuck?!" She says, "OK, thank you have a nice day."

Have a nice day I don't think so, my neck hurts and now I want to kick your ass little lady. Not cool.

COSTA RICA

JET SETTING

I just got back from Costa Rica and it was straight up amazing. Now I am in L.A. laying low. I have tons of pics from Costa Rica and I will put some up once I get back to D.C. So far my vacation has been perfect, and it just started!! Ima get some sleep now, it's off to Vegas tomorrow. Yup.

ONE.

Time's up. Season is over, and your boy is going home. Catch me at a beach near you. I'll be the one drinking a beer and looking for a light. It's called vacation, and now It's time for me to be on mine.

Pace Italia...

RELAX POPS

A couple of days ago I was out kickin it solo dolo, yeah I roll like that sometimes. Anyway, I'm posted up at the bar with a frosty one when I see this dude at the other end. He is down there just throwing shots back like there was no tomorrow and yelling at people talking bout how he is the best basketball player ever. I step down there and I'm like, "hold up yo, don't I know you from somewhere?" He's like, "nah son, you don't know me like that kid." Now I'm kinda pissed because I was just trying to be nice and he was straight up trying to carry me. So of course I had to get back at him. I said, "be easy old man, I ain't tryin to bang you out (N.H.) up in here so I suggest you just fall back." Next this you know he starts buggin out on some old man athelete shit. By that I mean, "you know back in my day I was the best thing out, I would have killed a young punk like you on the court. Dropped 50 on your punk ass like it was nothing. And if you tested me, I might just jump from the foul line on your bitch ass!" Who the fuck does this dude think he is, MJ or somebody??

VODKA & REDBULL + RANDOM BAR WITH COMPUTERS = HUH?

WII ARE IN TROUBLE

Recently a friend of mine was explaining to me how she just bought a Nintendo Wii. Yeah the shit sounds fun, freaking out flailing my arms around playing baseball and tennis and shit. Sounds like a blast for sure. I then began to think maybe I should by one of those Wii jumpoffs. Wait a second, who the hell am I kidding? I have the WORST temper when it comes to playing video games. Plus those controlers are wireless! Haha yeah right do I need a Wii because the first sign of me fucking up in one of the games and something will be getting trashed. I know myself, I would get mad as shit then BAAAAM! That controller is going flying across the room into the wall, or into the TV, or through the window, or onto the ground. You can pretty much count on that shit getting broke the fuck up.

To be completely honest, I'm very proud of myself for recognizing my issue with video games. I saved a bunch of money by not having to repair a broken game system, or fixing a hole in the wall, or buying a new TV, or getting a new window put in. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting better.

SQUALOR

I haven't been hype for new music to come out in a long time. Yet this new Roots album is gonna be fire. These dudes have been putting out bangers for the longest time, steadily. Their new video "Get Busy" is just the right single to let you fools know how this album is gonna hit. Real music is hard to come by today, but these cats are still doing big thangs. April 29th go cop that shit.

IM GETTING CLOSE

Laugh all you want, but sooner or later ima win this bitch. This one got me 10 euro, I got a good feeling about the next one...

Questa è una situazione pazzesca. Il nostro "capitano" ci ha congedato in un modo terribile. Per quanto mi riguarda lotto sempre fino alla fine e non parlo mai male della mia squadra. Ho pensato che anche il "capitano" l'avrebbe fatto ma mi sbagliavo. Per questo non è un uomo. Chiaramente non voglio mai perdere, ma mi assumo le mie responsabilità per quello che ho fatto. Se sono sulla barca con la mia squadra e ho un' occasione per scendere non salterò. Tutti devono capire che questa squadra non mollerà. Giocheremo ogni azione per ogni secondo in maniera dura come possiamo. Per favore continuate a tifare per noi e aiutateci a dare il massimo.

Grazie

PUT EM UP

So I'm on the bus with my teammates coming back from getting our asses kicked in Siena. Everything is cool, I got some brews on the low and we are rocking the dominoes, pretty much just kicking it. All of the sudden, I have no idea how, but this conversation comes up. "Joel do you think you can beat Leila Ali in a boxing match?" WHAT?! Man I will beat that bitches ass. Now I don't normally call women bitches but I gots to be gangster with this right now, sorry ladies. I mean lets be serious, yes she is a professional fighter, and she she has been known to knock people out, and by people I mean women. Yet there is one thing that you are not factoring in... I'M A DUDE!!! Listen, I'm not saying men can beat women in everything. All I'm saying is I will lay that bitch out, straight up. Ike and Tina yall, Ike and Tina. All that pro shit goes out the window when it come to straight out strength. Golf ok, tennis probably, bowling I'm sure. But fighting, come on son be real. One of her punches I'm sure would hurt a lil bit, but what's gonna happen when I catch her with the mean right hook? Ima tell you what, she is gonna be spread the fuck out in the middle of the ring. Now I don't fight women, never have and never will. But don't test me Leila, you got these cats on my team talking shit and believe me, I will throw down. Come on and bring your ass outa retirement, I'm right here, waiting. And after I beat you down ima make you a hamburger on my Foreman Grill.


On another note, the beard is gone. Thanks to everyone for voting, but it seemed like more of you wanted me to cut it. Oh well, it's growing back right this second.

THE TIME HAS COME

Ok so we finally won a game and like I said , its time to shave the beard. Only problem is, I DONT WANT TO. I have became too attached to it. I mean I named it and everything. His name is Brugen. So I figured I would leave it up to you guys to vote. That is if you really care. I will seriously do whatever you guys say I should do. Brugens fate in in your hands. Im leaving the polls open till Saturday so hurry up and vote...

I POP THEM MVP BOTTLES

SPORTS AINT SUPPOSED TO BE DEADLY

Broken legs, broken arms, dislocated shoulders, all this shit is common when you play sports. It sucks but its true, shit will happen. But in no way should you almost get your head chopped off!!

"Florida Panthers forward Richard Zednik lost five units of blood, but doctors never considered his life in jeopardy after the player had his carotid artery nearly severed by a teammate's skate in a freak and frightening accident."

Never considered his life in jeopardy?! Hold up, dude gets his neck sliced open by an ice skate and his life was never in jeopardy? Ima tell you like this, when I roll my ankle I feel like im going to die so I can imagine how my man felt.

"Zednik was sliced across the right side of the throat by teammate Olli Jokinen's skate midway through the third period of Buffalo's 5-3 victory. Doctors said the skate blade just missed cutting the jugular vein. The carotid artery supplies blood to the brain, while the jugular vein takes blood from the brain. Blood pressure is much higher in the carotid artery. According to Noor, the slashed artery was "hanging by a thread."

WHAT!!??

Man for real, im never getting on ice skates, ever. I mean you can get your throat slit son! Football is dangerous but the ball will not blow up like a grenade if you drop it. Baseball is dangerous too but the bats dont have nails sticking out the end of them. Now hockey, them dudes got knives on the bottom of their shoes. Im off it, waaaaay off it.

BREAK-UPS AND IPODS DONT MIX

This shit is crazy.

Ok so a couple of years ago a girlfriend of mine, who is now an ex, bought me my first iPod. Everything was lovely, I had mad songs on it and life was pretty much gravy. Well of course things change and eventually we broke up. The iPod was still fresh and I was still rocking to my songs. Well last summer it got stolen. Girlfriend "A" was gone and now so was the iPod. After breaking up with Girlfriend "A" I somehow stumbled upon Girlfriend "B". Girlfriend B decided to get me a new iPod, which was sweet. Well once again shit happens and of course, we broke up. Now Girlfriend "B" is gone and I still had the new iPod. Ok so here we go again, lastnight coming back from our game in Rome, I get out of the car and BAAMMM! The iPod falls out my hand, hits the ground, bounces, hits it again, I yell, the iPod flips over and there it is. Straight up smashed. The screen is all shattered, can't see shit and I'm heated.

Now what do I do, find a Girlfriend C or just finally buy a new one myself? Well i'll tell you this, Girlfriend "C" is nowhere to be found. I guess I got to get it myself.

Who would have thought that me busting up my iPod(s) would have led me to see this strange yet true coincidence? Whatever, I just hope I don't break up with myself for my iPods sake.

I'm not cutting my beard till we win a fucking game! I'm sick of losing, period. What does growing my beard have to do with it you say? Nothing at all, I am actually looking for a reason to cut it. When we finally win a game then that is when it will happen. So until then, you better believe that my shit will be beasting.

As of late things have not been going too smooth for your boy. Actually shit has been bumpy has hell. Personal and professional life has been interrupted with a few things that I honestly don't care to speak about. I mean it's like you wake up and really don't feel like smiling at all. I hate being in this mood, it really does suck.

And then something like this has to happen...

I got the ill rainbow just posting up outside my spot. Kinda makes you look at life in a completely different way. No matter how rainy and stormy it is outside, soon that sun will come out and bust you in the head with something more amazing than you could ever imagine. Just don't be afraid to go outside when the clouds are dark.

OOPS HE DID IT AGAIN

Today is a very special day. THAT MAN THEY CALL SALVI IS 2 YEARS OLD!!! Happy birthday to me. When I wake up in the morning and see his smiling face I am so proud to be a parent. I had my doubts at first but he is growing up so fast and I am seeing myself in him (n.h.) more and more each day. Nothing can spoil this day, at least that is what I thought till I got my mail this morning...

I got a notarized letter stating that K-Fed, a.k.a. K-Fag, is trying to get full custody of my blog. This is some bullshit, I'm a wonderful parent. Ok, maybe I do drink a lil bit too much when I go out. And yes once I did drive to the store with my blog in my lap, but that still doesn't mean that K-Fag should get custody. So what I shaved all my hair off, lets face it, I was going bald. Why should that determine the love I have for my 2 year old. Don't worry That Man, I'm going to get the best lawyers money can buy and I will fight this.

You wont get my blog K-Fag.

DONT TOUCH THE PIECES

"This sculpture right here dates back to the 1800's. It represents man, and how when Mount Vesuvius erupted, caused a disenchantment of the country's idealistic hopes."

Fuck that, I'm gonna go stand on that bitch!

I CANT WEIGHT

I play basketball. I have to stay in shape. Playing sports is one way to keep you healthy and happy, at least I think it is. What am I getting at you say?...

I HATE LIFTING WEIGHTS!!!

First of all them shits are heavy. Second, I can see if there was instant results, but there is not. I have been lifting for who knows how many years and yes I have got stronger but I don't think I have gotten much bigger than I would have without lifting. Seriously lifting weights is boring, it's annoying, and it just sucks. Lets think about it, why is lifting weights necessary for basketball? It wont make the ball go in the hoop every time I shoot it. It wont make me never turn the ball over. So what the fuck, why do I have to do it? A few push-ups and sit-ups are good enough. And that is just so I don't turn into a fatty fat fat. I'm strong enough to hold my own on the court. I go against some big ass dudes too (N.H.) But I don't ever find myself saying, "I wish I had bigger muscles to fight with this guy."

All I'm saying is lifting weights sucks, and having to wake up early as shit in the morning to do it doesn't help either.

2008 NEEDS TO HURRY UP

Ok so I guess its time to do my year ending post. I really haven't been posting much stuff lately, and to be honest with you I have kinda been at a loss for words recently. Yeah, I find that hard to believe myself but its true, I don't got shit to say. So ima do the year end post now because who the hell knows when ima post again.

So, 2007, I guess you can say it has been pretty disappointing. I mean don't get me wrong, some sweet shit has gone down but as a whole it could have been a lot better. For example, the summer had its ups and downs. Up, I got to see the illest hip hop show in my life. Wu-Tang, Boot Camp, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Cypress Hill, Rage Against The Machine, just to name a few. That shit was ill, it was pouring rain all day yet I still found a way to burn it down. Speaking of down, here's a down for you, I got all my shit jacked out of my apt this summer. WACK! That fucked the whole summer up.

Summer ended and it was time for me to come back over to Italy. I was pretty hype for this season, our management put together a pretty sweet team and my expectations were high. I was one of the 3 dudes that were coming back to the same team so I kinda had a little seniority poppin off. Anyway bottom line is we have been losing like shit! Being in the second to last place in the league is not what I had in mind when I had the high expectations. It's still early and yes we can turn it around but the shit just sucks. Climbing up hill is not as easy as it seems.

Robert Evel Kanievel, Ike Turner, and Sean Taylor all passed away this year. All three of these dudes influenced my life and it sucks to have lost them. How you ask? Well let me break it down. Evel Kanievel pretty much had me feeling like I could do anything. When I was younger and he was doing his thing I was for sure being a lil more reckless on my bike a skateboard. I've got the scars to prove it if you wanna see. Not saying bustin my ass was fun but it for sure taught me how to get up and shake it off. Ike Turner, hahaha, he was crazy. Now he didn't influence me to beat up women. As a matter of fact, my mom did most off the ass beating back then. Yet Ike didnt take no shit. Not just with Tina, but with everybody he came across. This in turn showed me that you can't let anyone walk over you and take advantage of you. Sean Taylor...man...this is just terrible. Probably the most skilled and promising football player the Redskins have EVER had. This man was the definition of determination. This guy worked so hard to be the best and believe me, he was. Just these few examples right here are enough im sure for you to see why I feel the way I feel bout 2007.

2008 will be awesome, I just know it. My team is gonna start winning and shit will just fall into place. It better because if another stuntman dies then Im jumping off my balcony. But this time I wont be jumping through the ring of fire on my way to the ground.

REST IN PEACE SEAN TAYLOR

APRIL 1, 1983 -- NOVEMBER 27, 2007

JETER JETER TAX CHEATER

"New York Yankees captain Derek Jeter has landed in tax trouble with the state of New York. State officials say the shortstop owes the state back taxes for claiming to live in Florida when his actual residence is New York City."

Come on Derek, you got tons of money, just pay your taxes man. We all have to do it. I mean, the rule is, if you have residency in a state where locals have to pay a state income tax then you need to do it homeboy. Most everyone knows that you have owned an apartment in Trump Tower since like 2001.

This isn't Florida buddy, yes there is not state income tax there, but this is the big apple son. As a matter of fact, this apple is so big that it might cost you a couple million. You got it, just pay it. You know what, if you dont want to pay it im sure if you let A. Rod hump you in the butt a lil more he would pay it for you. We all know he got it.

THATS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

I brush my teeth twice a day, no really, I do. Some people say brush your teeth after every meal but that's kinda OCD. Anyway, I always thought my teeth were in lovely condition. Nice and white, no cavity pain, just a few chips in the bottom canine joint from opening beer bottles. Other than that I figured I was good. Well I'm chewing gum in practice the other day and all of the sudden I felt a mean shooting pain from my back left molar. Next thing you know I felt a piece of my back tooth come out! Now its not the whole thing, but just a lil piece of it. What the hell yo! How did this happen? It's not like I eat rocks and my tooth got weak, that joint just chipped off. It sucks. What am I supposed to do for it, nothing really. I can't get it pulled cuz there is nothing really wrong with it, it's just a lil chippy chipped. I don't know what it is with my mouth this year. 2 weeks ago I had to get two stitches in my lip because I got elbowed. Now I got my teeth falling out, this is wack.

JACK ON JACK CRIME

I think a lot. Most times it leads to some pretty cool stuff. Yet most times shit like this happens... Jack Black -vs- Jack White.

Both these dudes are awesome. J.W. is a genius when it comes to the musical shit. He has taken rock and transformed it to his own sweet lil interpretation of life. Does that make sense, of course it does. Just listen to The White Stripes latest album, Icky Thump and figure it out for yourself. Now J.B. is pretty much funnier than funny. Just look at his classics, Nacho Libre, School Of Rock, Orange County, and that's just to name a few. This dude is hilarious. But this is what I wanna know... Who would win in a fight?

Jack White has the muscle advantage, no homo, this dude is pretty jacked. I mean lets be honest, Jack Black is a little on the chunky side. So when it come to straight strength, J.W. might have him on this one. Now lets look at the quickness. This is a surprise, ima give it to Jack Black. I mean he is a little heavier but that dude has some moves. Just watch Nacho Libre and see for yourself. Also most times J.W. is either drunk, stoned, or whatever the hell you wanna call it. Wait a second, J.B. is hammered all the time too, oh shit, I guess its a tie with that one. Ok now we look at their back-up. Jack White has Meg and Jack Black has that other fat dude he's always with, nobody really pay attention to his name anyway. This one has to go to Jack Black. That other fat dude is a beast, plus he wears socks with sandals, he's in a league of his own. Meg seems a lil to small and fragile to deal with him. Yes she is a monster on the drums but unfortunately I think that fat dude would eat her drums. One last comparing point, their gangster appeal. Jack Black is a clown, straight up, will never, can never look like a gangster. That fool is not gonna scare anyone. Now Jack White has the gully look down to a science. Just look at the pic I have up of him. Do you think he is trying to look gangster in this? I don't think, I fell that shit is just how he rolls.

In the end it seems to me that Jack Black would get his ass kicked. He would put up a nice fight but at the end of the day he's getting knocked out. I doubt they would ever fight but hey, it's fun to think about.

I'LL SAVE THE DAY

Just a few days ago I had to set my clocks back an hour. But really who still has clocks, so I set my cell phone and watch back. Anyway I gained and extra hour of sleep and also started to wonder why the hell we have to do this twice a year.

After doing a little research on the web, yes, I was bored as hell. I found out that we do Daylight Savings Time because in 1905 this cat named William Willett, A.K.A. Willy Will, saw that in London a bunch of people were sleeping through the "good part" of the day. Also Willy Will loved to play golf and he got mad when he had to cut his round short because of dusk. Who the hell gave this dude the power to rewind an hour just to finish golfing?

Give me that power and I would be chilling!!! I wouldn't be scared and only rewind an hour though, I would do like 6 of them shits, fuck it. I have practice everyday at 5:30pm. What time is it now? 5 o'clock...Naaah, it's 11am, I'm chillin.